


The Ties that Bind Us

by writeme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Archie Andrews Loves Betty Cooper, Confessions, Endgame Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Serial Killers, Survivor Guilt, War, barchie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 10:21:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30053982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeme/pseuds/writeme
Summary: Canon Divergent/Speculation Fic: Betty's said that when she thinks of the place she feels safest, it's a booth at Pop's with Archie. Only, she'd misinterpreted the feeling. It wasn't being at Pop's or the familiar booths that made her feel safe. It wasn't the sweet milkshakes or crispy french fries they shared. What made her feel safe, was now and forever, Archie Andrews. What happens when she finally lets her guard down enough to tell him what's actually been going on in her life lately?
Relationships: Archie Andrews & Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper
Comments: 15
Kudos: 90





	The Ties that Bind Us

**Author's Note:**

> This is another Barchie-centric one shot. It's a spec/canon divergent fic set sometime after 5x06. Trigger warning: discussions of trauma, kidnapping, death, PTSD, and other stressful scenarios described or alluded to on the show.
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story, I sincerely hope you like it and if you're compelled to leave a review and/or kudos, I will be forever grateful!

Archie is good at a lot of things. It would be fair to say that he excels most things he puts his mind to, especially in the physical realm. The fact that he’s talented is something that she’s always known. 

Only recently, she’s discovered how good he is at certain things she’d never been privy to before. Like now, for example, when his face is pressed intimately between her legs and his tongue is bringing her all sorts of pleasures that make her grip her bedsheets with pursed lips and closed eyes. “Fuck,” She moans breathlessly, making him smile against her inner thigh.

The twins are at sleepovers and she booked her mom a room at the Five Seasons for a little rest and relaxation. Well, technically she’d booked the room for her and Archie. But, when Alice had seen the reservation confirmation on her phone screen that morning, she’d assumed she’d done it for her. Betty was ready to correct her, but then, Alice had cried at the sweet gesture and started thanking her profusely, confessing how much she needed the time to herself. After that, Betty didn’t have the heart to tell her she’d misunderstood. Instead, she’d called the reception desk and had the reservation switched to be under Alice’s name rather than her own.

It had worked out just fine though, obviously. The yellow fabric of the Riverdale Fire Department t-shirt she stole from him to wear is pushed up over her stomach as her hand moves to tangle into his hair, her back arching upwardly with desire. She’s on the precipice of total satisfaction when a loud clatter and then bang from outside causes her eyes to pop open and her thighs to squeeze together tightly before falling apart again as she sits up slightly. “Did you hear that?” She asks breathlessly, propping herself up on her elbows.

“Probably an animal.” He says dismissively, kissing her thigh tenderly and nudging her to lay back down, “Ignore it.” He mutters, returning to his previous task, hands gripping hips that were previously writhing with pleasure under his concentrated efforts. She tries to relax against the pillows again and gasps as his tongue gets expertly back to work.

But then, there’s another loud sound, this time clearly at the front door. Archie sighs, pulling back to look at her with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. “I’ll go check it out.” He begins to offer, but she shakes her head, grabbing her discarded shorts and sliding them back up her legs before reaching into her bedside table to grab her sidearm. Archie’s eyes go wide at the act. “Betts,” He begins.

“I have a concealed carry permit.” She explains, releasing the safety. There are far too many credible threats she can imagine outside of her house right now and it’s better safe than sorry.

“I doubt you’ll need a gun it’s probably-”

“You don’t know that!” There’s an air of panic in her voice, “It could be,” She swallows hard and blinks a few times. “I don’t have time to explain Arch. Now just get behind me,”

He bites his lip at the command, which is kind of hot even at a misplaced moment like this. “Yes ma’am.” He concedes, following her towards the stairs without bothering with a shirt.

She proceeds down the stairs slowly and then notices the door handle twisting fruitlessly, accompanied by a soft knock. “Gramma?” A tiny, tearful voice calls out. Betty, whose entire body had been tense and anxiety ridden, finally relaxes a little with realization.

“It’s Juniper.” She sighs, engaging the safety before shoving the gun into his chest. “Put that away for me and maybe put on a shirt?” She requests, frowning briefly at the last part before taking the stairs two at a time to unlock the front door and let in her niece. The girl’s tear stained face is a pretty clear indication of how her sleepover was going and why she’s returned home, but she gathers her into her arms and asks anyway. “Juni, sweetheart, what are you doing out here alone? It’s late and you’re supposed to be staying the night at London’s house.” She reminds her gently, closing and locking the door behind them.

The young redhead presses her face into her aunt’s stomach, wiping a mix of tears and snot against her t-shirt in the process. “I hate London!” She declares loudly. “And I’m not staying at her stupid house!”

“Hate is a very strong word, Juni.” Betty warns softly, sliding her hand into the girl’s and leading her towards the living room. “You don’t have to stay at her house if you don’t want to. But, do you think you can maybe tell me what she did to make you so upset?” She asks, guiding her to sit on the couch.

“Well first of all, she said my hair was ugly!” The nine year old replies, her face full of offense. “She said all red hair is hideous.” She adds, laying her head in Betty’s lap as she joins her on the couch. Archie, who has fulfilled Betty’s requests, stands on the stairs to observe.

“What?” Betty’s shock is over-exaggerated on purpose. “Well, who put London in charge of what’s hideous or not? Seems like she was just saying that to be mean. That doesn’t make it true” She clarifies, bringing her hand to Juniper’s fiery hair. Then, more gently, she adds, “Your hair is gorgeous, just like the rest of you.”

“She said I look like a carrot.” She sniffs loudly. “I wish I had blonde hair like you, mom, and Gramma.” She sighs, looking tearfully at her aunt. “London says blonde hair is the prettiest and red hair is the ugliest. Everyone else at the sleepover had blonde hair Aunt Betty. I was the only one with the ugly hair.”

Betty is really starting to dislike this little London girl, she holds back the choice words she has to express her current opinion of her. “Your hair is beautiful, just like your Aunt Cheryl’s. I dare London to say those things in front of her!” She tries to solicit a smile from her niece but it only half works. “Can I tell you a secret?” That does elicit a nod from the girl, so Betty continues. “Being pretty doesn’t come from your hair, Juni. Pretty comes from in here,” She says, tapping her fingers against Juniper’s heart. “And it sounds to me London has some work to do on the inside if she wants to be as pretty as you.” She knows she probably shouldn’t shit talk a nine-year-old right now, but if the shoe fits… “And if she feels the need to say nasty things to you to make herself feel better or prettier?” Betty pauses, she wants to finish that sentence with, ‘ _ then she’s a bitch _ !’ Instead, she goes with, “Then, she isn't really that great of a friend in the first place. Oh and, also, there’s more to life than being pretty so London really needs some better aspirations.” She adds, for good measure. “Like care about being smart and nice, London. Have some real goals.” She scrunches her nose at her niece and the little girl giggles gently.

“Thanks Aunt Betty,” Juniper replies, a small smile appearing as she leans in to hug her tightly. “I wish mom were here. She’d shit talk London with us too.” She adds quietly, which tugs at Betty’s heart strings completely, threatening to undo her. After all, she blames herself almost exclusively for his sister going missing.

She forces a smile, which is slightly genuine given the hilarious nature of her niece’s comment despite the way it’s also so saturated in sadness. “Me too, sweetie.” She sighs into her niece’s hair as she hugs her tightly. “How about some ice cream, hmm? Then, you can use my iPad and watch Netflix in your bed until you fall asleep?” She offers, hoping the shiny distractions will do enough to pacify her at least for now. There’s not much you can offer in lieu of a mother’s comfort. Even though Alice has had her fair share of toxic moments and low points, her hugs still gave Betty a sense of relief few other things could. Well, with the exception of one’s from Archie, especially as of late. The thought makes her smile grow to be more authentic.

“Yes!” The young girl throws two hands in the air in excitement and climbs off the couch, bounding towards the kitchen before her aunt can change her mind, her previous worries seemingly forgotten.

Betty rises to follow her and catches Archie smiling on the stairs. She bites her lip gently, not sure why she feels so self-conscious about knowing he’s just witnessed that moment between her and her niece. “You want some ice cream?” She offers, rather than addressing what he’s just been behold to. The question prompts him to descend to the bottom of the steps, where he leans forward to press a gentle kiss to her lips before he can stop himself.

“Sure ice cream sounds great.” He grins, his hand lingering on the small of her back as he follows her into the kitchen. “You were really good with her by the way,” He adds, knowing she’s likely already overanalyzing how she just handled the situation with her niece.

“Thanks,” She says to him softly, her eyes casting him a look of appreciation before she turns her attention back to the youngest Cooper girl. “Juni, you remember my friend Archie who lives next door, right?” She asks casually, moving to open the freezer to retrieve the tub of cookie dough ice cream. She hopes if she acts natural enough about him being here, the younger girl won’t ask any questions about why exactly he is.

“Hey, Archie,” Juniper acknowledges, nodding with apparent recognition, taking a seat on a stool in front of the counter. “I see you’re cursed too,” She tugs on a strand of her red hair inherently and flicks her eyes to his with expectation.

Betty sets three bowls and spoons on the counter top and shakes her head at Juniper, responding first to give him time to decide what to say after being caught off guard. “Cursed? I love Archie’s red hair as much as I love yours!” She defends. “I think it’s very handsome.” She casts her eyes to his and smiles gently.

He returns the grin, which only makes hers grow more. He forces himself to look at her niece, lest he get distracted by those adorable dimples and her amazingly full lips. “Red hair does feel like a curse sometimes.” He acknowledges in what he hopes is a validating way. “I’ve gotten asked if my head is on fire way more times than would ever be funny.” He winks at her and the young girl gives him a knowing smile in return. “I’ve gotten carrot head too, oh and Ronald McDonald.” He confirms, checking a couple more off the list. Kids sure can be cruel. And military superiors.

“So what did you do when people said those things?” Juniper asks her voice small as she takes the bowl of ice cream Betty offers her. “Thanks,” She says sweetly to her aunt, picking up a spoon before turning her full attention back to Archie rapturously, awaiting his response.

He knows he shouldn’t say, ‘punch them,’ which was his real answer and he can tell Betty knows it too because she gives him a pointed look as if warning him not to. “Ignore them,” He shrugs, but when Juniper rolls her eyes at him and doesn’t seem convinced, he goes for it anyway, adding on. “Okay full disclosure, I probably hit them.” 

“Archie!” Betty’s tone is scolding and her eyes are wide just like Juniper’s, only the younger girl smiles and giggles instead of gaping at him in disbelief like her aunt.

“I’m not saying that’s what she should do! I’m just being honest. If somebody made fun of my hair, I would have hit them. But, that’s not the right way to handle it, because it didn’t make them stop making fun of me.” He reaches for the bowl of ice cream Betty scooped out for him, but she shakes her head disapprovingly at him, tugging it out of his reach.

“Juniper, you should under no circumstances use violence to solve problems that can be handled with words!” She instructs firmly, trying to correct the seemingly bad advice her counterpart has just given. The last thing she needs is Juniper getting sent home from school next week for decking London in the face during recess, even if it might be slightly deserved on the other party’s behalf. Besides, they’re both teacher’s now, shouldn’t they be encouraging her to take the high road? “Even if what she said is mean and untrue, it’s not an excuse to hurt her back physically, right Archie?”

“Yes, your aunt is right. Besides, if you hit someone, adults don’t usually care what they said to you, you still end up being the one in trouble.” He adds for impact. “Plus, hitting people who were mean to me usually made me feel like just as much of a jerk in the end.” Betty must approve of his further explanations, because she finally gives him the bowl of ice cream and a spoon, winking at him.

“Well, what if she said some other mean stuff, not just about my hair?” Juniper scoots her ice cream around the bowl noisily with her spoon, the metal scraping unpleasantly against the bottom of the porcelain, however she doesn’t look up.

Betty frowns, closing the freezer after putting the tub away. “Like what?” She asks quietly, reserving judgement as she leans on the counter, scooting the container of rainbow sprinkles in front of Juniper’s bowl.

“Like asking if I’m an orphan now since my dad is dead and my mom probably is too.” She replies somberly, dumping the colorful toppings on to her ice cream absently, still not looking up.

Betty’s jaw drops, then clenches tightly in anger. She and Archie exchange shocked looks and he seems just as pissed off as she is. “Okay well, now I’m going to punch that little Regina George in the face myself.” She takes a breath and collects herself, trying to be the adult in this situation rather than flying off the handle like she is otherwise inclined to do. “You are not an orphan and your mom is going to come back soon, I  _ promise _ .” She knows that’s not a vow she can keep for sure, for all she knows Polly could already be dead. But right now, she has to believe that isn’t true and she knows Juniper needs to believe that too. “Tomorrow, we’ll fill Grandma Alice in on what London said and after she goes over there and talks to her mom?” She raises her eyebrows expressively and Juniper smiles. “Well let’s just say London is going to learn her lesson.”

“Gramma can be really scary.” Juniper smirks in apparent agreement, causing them all to laugh.

“ _ Really _ scary,” Archie matches, pouring some sprinkles over his frozen treat too.

The three of them eat their ice cream happily, giggles abounding. Archie’s ability to charm anyone extends to children too apparently, because most of her nieces’ laughs are elicited by his funny faces or silly voices. He and Juniper even unite together to convince Betty to let her stay up with them to watch a movie together on the couch. Archie dashes off to the kitchen to make popcorn, even as the blonde shouts after him that it’s too late for another snack. 

“This is way better than my other sleepover!” Juniper remarks excitedly, sitting between them on the couch, the oversized red and white bowl of popcorn in her lap, her fingers gathering a generous handful to shove in her mouth the exact same way Archie is to her left. Betty can’t help but laugh and roll her eyes at their shared antics.

The little girl passes out half an hour into the animated classic she’d chosen for them to watch. The popcorn bowl is abandoned on the coffee table and she’s draped across Betty’s lap asleep, probably thanks to the way her aunt’s been playing with her hair in such a soothing and tender way.

Betty’s in the process of trying to figure out how to get her up the stairs without waking her up when Archie’s voice interrupts her internal strategizing. “Here, let me help.” It’s just a whisper, as he tucks his hands under Juniper’s arms, lifting her small frame up easily. She stirs and then settles her head against his shoulder as he carries her up the stairs. Betty moves past him, opening the door to the room the girl shares with her twin brother. There’s a permanent grin plastered to her face as she watches Archie deposit her niece on her bed and tuck her in under her mermaid blanket. 

As he steps into the hallway, closing the door behind him, she finds herself rising up to press a kiss to his lips before she can think better of it. “Thank you.” She sighs, her mouth still pressed to his until she realizes just how intimate the whole thing feels. She steps back immediately, no longer invading his space; she misses the proximity instantly. “And sorry,” She adds, pulling him away from the door and towards her room again. “I know this did not turn out like the night of adult fun I’d promised you when I texted earlier inviting you to come over…” She bites her lip gently, a hint of regret in her tone over what might have been.

“I had a great time tonight,” His smile is genuine, it creases all the way to his eyes. “The best time I’ve had in awhile, honestly.” He reaches for her face, cupping it, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. He’s not just saying that either. Tonight; eating ice cream and watching a movie on the couch together with her niece, is the most normal and at home he’s felt since before he left for the Army. “I like spending time with you, sex or no sex.” He leans down, kissing her slowly. “I mean, the sex is incredible,” He trails off, his lips moving to her neck before disclosing the next part. “...but you’re also my favorite person to be around in general.” 

She shivers at the way his breath feels on her skin, and at his last admission. As much as she wants to give into how good it feels to hear him say that, her insecurities bubble to the surface and she ruins the moment with, “I thought that was Veronica.” She isn’t sure why she says it, especially when he’s here with her now and holding her like this. She wills the words back into her mouth, wishful for a way for him to unhear them. “I’m sorry, can we pretend I didn't say that? I liked where this was going before I killed the mood.” She sighs, biting her lip as he draws back to look at her. 

That’s potentially the most honest she’s been about her feelings about what they’re doing, or not doing, since they started this thing a month ago. Vague as the comment is, the jealousy he hears is telling. He doesn’t want to scare her away from delving further into that, so he treads carefully, trying to keep things light. “I’m sorry, was it not clear to you when I had my face buried between your legs who my favorite person is? ‘Cause, I can show you again.” He offers, his tone husky, but his words laced with meaning beyond just their obviously sensual implications.

“Arch,” She isn’t used to hearing him like this, so full of want that’s directed at her. Her face flushes, a mix of desire and embarrassment playing there. She can tell he means what he’s really trying to say though, that she should know by now how he feels about her. She can’t help but let their history make her uncertainties feel more suffocating. They cloud her judgement and make her unable to see the feelings he so clearly has for her.

“I don’t want Veronica anymore Betty. I haven’t since high school.” He grasps her face with both of his hands, his eyes finding hers before he continues. “I haven’t wanted her since we,” He stops when her eyes well with tears. “I know we shouldn’t have kissed, not when we were with other people, but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret what I felt for you Betty.” 

He doesn't regret what he feels now either, but he’s not sure she’s ready to hear it, so he keeps that part to himself.

“I don’t regret it either, Arch,” She sighs, leaning into his touch for a moment before deciding she isn’t worthy of such comfort and straightens again. “But, what we did hurt the people we were supposed to love the most.” She closes her eyes briefly, willing the tears not to fall. “They never forgave me.” She shakes her head. “Jughead lives with you, Veronica is your business partner, and then there’s me; on the outside of it all. They don’t even really talk to me.” She shrugs. “I know I deserve it, don’t get me wrong; I know I fucked up. I just don’t understand how they can forgive you but not me. Why don’t I deserve their forgiveness? I swear, I’m just as sorry as you are.” Though, she knows he’s not the one she has to convince.

“Betty,” It sounds sad, the way he says her name. He isn’t sure what to say, because she’s right. They have forgiven him, at least on the surface. But he hasn’t really taken the time to notice that it isn’t the same with Betty. While he, Jug, and Veronica have so seamlessly transitioned into their new roles in each other’s lives since they’ve all been back, that hasn’t been Betty’s experience. He feels selfish for not picking up on it and how unfair that is to her, how hurt it must make her feel. “I'm sorry, I don’t know why it’s playing out like this.” He knows she won’t want him to, but he feels compelled to offer anyway. “I can talk to them, if you want?”

“No, no.” She shakes her head quickly. “Please don’t do that. It’s fine, they are entitled to react and feel whatever they want. And, let’s be honest, you’re more forgivable than I am.” She shrugs, as if that’s a fact and not an opinion and tries to force out a smile she knows is no use, because he can see it’s fake right away. She shifts course, “You have a good heart.” Her arms wrap around his shoulders as she leans into him. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt safe like this Arch, you have no idea how much I need it right now.” She kisses him softly, meaningfully. She hopes somehow this kiss can say all the things she isn’t ready to say to him yet about how scared she’s been after speaking to Glen on the phone earlier. How she’s been on the verge of a panic attack ever since. How when she’s with him, it’s the only time she really seems to feel sane.

“I’ll always keep you safe.” He lets his hands trail down her arms tenderly before looping one around her waist and pulling her closer. “But Betty, you’re a good person and you have a good heart too.” He dips his head to kiss her again. “And you do deserve forgiveness. For what it’s worth, if they won’t give it to you, I will.”

The sentiment hits her more heavily than he can realize and she takes a ragged breath, leaning in to bury her face against his chest. “I’m not sure I do deserve it.” She admits quietly, the words almost lost to the fabric of his shirt.

“Of course you do,” He tucks two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at him. 

“It’s not just Jug and Veronica. Archie, if I hadn’t been such a bitch to Polly maybe she wouldn’t be,” She swallows hard and tries to avert her eyes from his. She’s not sure whether or not to complete that sentence with missing or dead, but the longer her sister is gone, it’s more likely that the later is the more accurate option of the two. The guilt she feels over that is overpowering, and she tries to move past in order to better articulate her broader point. “I hurt people, Archie. Even when I don’t mean to and especially when I care about them. Maybe you should get out while you still can.” She adds with a note of self-deprecation, her eyes glazing over.

“Hurt me, I can take it.” His voice is firm, yet still soothing somehow, “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” She retorts, near exasperation. “It’s just bound to happen. Even when I try so hard to do the right thing, something always goes wrong. Someone always gets hurt. And when it’s me? When it’s me who gets hurt, I can handle it. But when there are repercussions for other people? I just,” She shakes her head. “You protect everyone, Archie and you’re so good at it. I try so hard to do the same thing and all I seem to do lately is,” She takes another breath as her emotions threaten to overwhelm her. “..all I’ve done lately is fail miserably at it.” She finally manages to croak out.

“You are so far from a failure Betty.” He shakes his head, willing her to see her through his eyes instead of her own. “Because of you getting these missing girl’s stories out there, who knows how many countless others you’re saving from the same fate? Listen, we’re going to catch this guy. We’re going to find Polly. I’m going to help you, I promise.”

She offers him a weak smile because she does appreciate the sentiment of his words, but she’s not just talking about Polly and while normally she’d shove all this down and keep it to herself, right now she’s raw enough to just come out with it. Besides, it’s  _ Archie _ after all. He seems to have an effect on her and an ability to make her tell him the truth even when she doesn’t want to.

“Arch,” She closes her eyes, lashes fluttering as she gathers her courage. Once she starts, there’s no turning back and she knows it. “Something happened back at Quantico,” She opens her eyes and finds his own darker, worried ones staring back at her. “To me,” She clarifies, shaking her head, eyes watering. “ _ Because _ of me.” She corrects herself and pauses while she tries to keep herself from actually starting to cry. “I was working a case and,” She brings her hands up to try and swat away the tears before they can fall. “For the record, I tried to call for backup but there was no reception out in the woods and I knew that if I’d taken the time to backtrack to the car…” She bites her quivering lip. “So I made a decision. Because I knew he had a victim in there and if I wasted any more time,” She stops, she knows she isn’t making a ton of sense right now, but at this point her word vomit is the most she’s told anyone about what happened that day, including Dr. Starling. She tries to steer herself back on course, hoping he’s somehow still following her broken and incomplete story. “...look I went in alone because I thought if I did, I could save her. But, Arch, she was,” She finally loses the battle to the threatening tears and they slip out, fat and hot down her cheeks. “...she was already dead.”

He pulls her in to hug her tightly, his own eyes red and glassy, though he wills himself to stay strong for her and that’s what keeps his own tears from forming. Sure, her details were vague, but it’s enough to at least give him the gist of the terrible ordeal she’s been through. “Betty, I had no idea. I’m so, so sorry you went through that.” His hand moves to cradle her head against his chest.

She’s crying too hard to tell him that isn’t even the worst part about what happened those months ago. A part of her wants to stop there, let him think that’s all that causes her trauma and the nightmares he might be acquainted with when he inevitably stays the night tonight. Still, she lets herself cry, stifling the sound against his strong chest so it doesn’t wake Juniper in her room down the hall. 

Finally, once she’s managed to collect herself, she starts again. “Archie, he was still there when I went in.” She forces the words out before she can lose the courage to articulate them aloud. His brow knits in confusion, indicating that he doesn’t quite understand what she means, so she elaborates, “The case I was working; he’s known as the Trash Bag Killer. He’s a traveling serial killer.” She swallows hard, using sheer will power alone to not start crying again. “I found his lair, I found his deceased victim, and then,” The next parts are the hardest of all to actually articulate, “ he found me.” Her tongue comes out to wet her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. “And he kept me, for two weeks.”

Archie’s heart is hammering so loudly, there’s an echo of it in his head. He hangs on her every word, the sense of dread within him growing with each that she speaks. How could this have happened to her? Hasn't she been through enough already? Haven’t they both? He’s at a loss for words, though he wishes he did know the exact right thing to say right now, but there probably isn't one. Sorry isn’t enough, but it’s the best he has to offer. “I’m so sorry, Betty. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just so, so sorry you had to go through that.” Now, it’s his turn to lose the battle with his tears, because a few escape his eyes and slide down his cheeks. He feels a sense of overwhelming helplessness that he can’t shake. Of course he couldn’t have protected her from this, but he still wishes he could have.

“You don’t have to say anything,” She whispers, leaning her forehead against his. “Just being here with me is enough. Holding me like this.” She breathes him in, an all-consuming sense of calm washing over her. “Making me feel safe in the way that only you can.” 

He keeps one arm wrapped around her waist snuggly while the other slides soothingly up and down her spine. He has so many questions, of course he does. But, she’ll tell him when she’s ready and maybe that’ll be never. He’s got enough of his own demons and skeletons in the closet to know that pushing someone when they aren’t ready can just cause them to stop sharing altogether. To his surprise, she offers more on her own.

“He got away.” Her tone is heavy with regret. “And now Glen, that’s my boss, he said he’s been active again, this time in Tulsa. He’s already killed two more victims.” She purses her lips, shaking her head as if that might be all she has to do to get rid of her guilt. “If I had just followed the chain of command on this, those girls would still be alive and that sick bastard would be behind bars. Their deaths are on me Arch and who knows how many other girls he is going to kill before we catch him again? If we ever catch him again? All I had to do was go back to the car and wait for backup. But I trusted my gut, and I went in; but it was the wrong call. I made a bad decision and now two people are dead. I will  _ never _ forgive myself for that.”

Between this and everything with Polly and the other victims, no wonder she’s barely hanging on right now. Maybe he was wrong when he told Jackson that his friends couldn’t understand his PTSD or his survivor’s guilt. There was at least one person who clearly could. Maybe he didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, maybe there really weren’t any words that ever could. But he could tell he understood, at least on some level. He could tell her that she wasn’t crazy or alone. 

So he does.

“Betty when I was deployed,” He sits down on her bed, pulling her with him. “My unit was ambushed, I lost everyone but Jackson. I was their leader, I was in charge of getting them back home safely to their families and I let them all down.” She stares at him reverently, her fingers intertwining with his supportively. “Even Jackson, he lost his leg. And here I am, back home safe. I was in the VA hospital for a little while and I was banged up a tiny bit, but all my injuries healed up quickly. Jackson has to live with this for the rest of his life. And what’s crazy is, that makes him one of the lucky ones all things considered.”

His physical injuries may have healed, that’s true. But he’ll carry the burden of his mental ones for the rest of his life. The trauma, the guilt, the panic-inducing nightmares? They’ll plague him the same way they will for her. PTSD isn’t cured by weekly, hour-long visits to pristinely decorated doctor’s offices or by little blue pills that only serve to numb the pain instead of rid you of it. He’s pretty sure there isn’t a cure for it at all, not really. There’s just people who find a way to live with it and those who don’t. At his worst, he’s been overtaken by the latter of the two options and he’s afraid she has been too. That she might be right now.

“Arch, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” She climbs into his lap, straddling him before she wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him against her. “Regardless of what he lost, Jackson is so grateful to you, that’s one of the first things he said when we met. And I’m positive that you fought like hell and did the best you could out there Archie, for all of them.” She leans forward, kissing him gently again. There’s no use telling him it wasn't his fault, he’ll blame himself anyway. Just like she does. “We’re both fucked up, huh?” She says quietly, somehow mustering a laugh despite the depressing realization.

“At least we can be fucked up together?” He agrees, offering her an equally out of place smile. “It’s like the fucked up parts of both of us cancel each other out and make us normal or something.” He adds almost matter-of-factly, his smile growing.

“Totally,” She nods vigorously in agreement, then more seriously. “You know you’re still my family right, Arch?” She asks quietly.

“And you’re mine,” He swears back immediately, hoping that was never a doubt for her.

“You ever worried that we’re going to mess that up with this thing we’re doing, whatever it is.” She bites her lip, another confession forcing its way out before she can be too much of a coward to admit it to him.

He gives her a contemplative look, “I’d argue we’ve made things better between us. That it has made us closer and our relationship deeper.” He returns, as if what he’s claimed is simple.

“I’m serious Arch. Look, obviously I was jealous over the time you’ve been spending with Veronica and that’s only going to keep happening with the next girl you show attention to. And I don’t want to be this jealous girl you’re sleeping with and have that ruin our friendship.” Okay, so maybe she’s simplified that a bit, but the entire thing is overly complicated as it is.

He considers his words carefully, “Well for starters, there aren’t other girls.”

“Well not yet,” She interrupts.

“There aren’t other girls.” He stands firm. “And there aren’t going to be other girls.” He adds confidently. “And you’re not just some girl I’m sleeping with Betty, you have to know that.”

“Look, it’s okay. I know what I signed myself up for. We both said we were friends, having fun.” She explains, as if he doesn’t already know that just as well as she does..

“That was when we thought we’d be in town together for a couple of days and that what happened in my shower was going to be a one time thing.” He corrects, “Then it kept happening and things changed, obviously.”

“Well, what changed?” Now it’s her heartbeat that feels deafeningly loud as it slams in her chest and reverberates to her ears. “No one told me things changed.”

“I mean it’s fun, whatever it is.” He agrees, but then, “But it’s more than that. At least, for me.” His eyes find hers searchingly. “And I’m pretty sure it is for you too.” 

Of course it is. It probably even was the first time if she were willing to be completely honest with herself. But, ‘more than that,’ whatever that even means, is not what they’d agreed on. That’s not what she thought he’d wanted so she was trying to ignore all the things truly she felt every time she was with him and she was doing a decent job of it until now. “Of course it is, Arch.” She takes a deep breath. “But,” She starts and stops. But what exactly? She doesn’t even know what weak argument she’s trying to craft against him right now or why she feels the need to challenge him when deep down, she knows he’s right. Then, another facet of guilt rises to the surface and she looks down ruefully. “Relationships that start with cheating are doomed to fail.”

“Betty,” It’s his turn to laugh when he shouldn’t, and his is more sardonic than hers had been. “Our relationship didn’t start when we kissed during Hedwig. Our relationship started when we were kids. It’s always been you and me. Way before Veronica moved to town and even before I considered Jug one of my friends. It was you and me from the very beginning. It was always supposed to be you and me. You were my first real friend and you were the first girl I loved. I’m sorry that eight year old me saw that more clearly than fifteen year old me. But I’m not going to make that mistake again, not this time.” His thumb brushes the apple of her cheek and he leans in towards her lips, whispering the next part against them. “I still love you Betty, just as much as I did when we were kids, maybe even more.”

“Archie, I,” She swallows hard, equal parts surprised and moved by his confession.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to feel oblig-”

She doesn’t let him finish. “Of course I love you too,” her lips meet his ardently, “I don't think I’ve ever stopped. But,”

“No, there’s no but, Betty. There’s no other shoe waiting to drop. Let’s just go for it, for real. We’ve been hooking up this whole time and has anyone been hurt? No? Everyone has been just fine.” His heart is racing as he continues, “Listen, Veronica is married, or maybe separated. Whatever she is, that’s her business and it’s honestly none of my concern. Not unless she’s in trouble, or needs my help.” He shakes his head. “And besides, if she and Jughead aren’t even speaking to you, do they really have a right to judge or comment on your decisions? On our decisions? And forgive me if this seems harsh, but fuck them if they think they do.”

“No one’s been hurt because we’ve been surprisingly good at keeping it a secret. In fact, we almost got caught that night at the school when those Stonewall Prep idiots set the trash can on fire.” She can’t help but smirk at the memory and all it entailed. But then, she twists her lips, ridding them of their smile before getting to the next hard truth. “What if Veronica pulls your funding if she finds out about us?” Betty poses the question, unable to avoid thinking about the consequences of their actions before they actually act on them this time around. Archie stands to lose a lot if Veronica stops funneling cash into all of his endeavors around Riverdale and she can’t be the cause of that. It’s not that she thinks Veronica’s spiteful, but she’d have every right to feel differently about both of them when she finds out they’re together, or probably worse that they have been secretly.

“I don’t think she would,” He replies confidently, “But if she does, we’ll figure it out. We’ll have a bake sale or something. My dad used to rave about those apple pies you and your mom make every Thanksgiving.”

“Arch, I’m serious. No amount of apple pie or bake sales will make up for losing that kind of money.”

“I’m serious too!” He demands, “Whether we do this in secret or we make it official, I’m still going to feel the same way about you. Don’t you think it’s better we’re honest with Veronica, so she can decide for herself what she wants to do? You know, instead of creating some weird hypothetical where we decide for her without giving her a chance to?” She’s about to reply, but he keeps talking. “We’re not eighteen anymore, and we’re not dating other people. Nothing about what we’ve been doing or want to do is wrong, not this time. We’re allowed to have made mistakes in the past and still be happy together in the present. There’s no unwritten rule about it and no one gets to make one to impose upon us either.” He takes a breath and continues, “What’s the end goal here anyway? We keep hooking up until we get tired of each other? Until we find someone else? Because that’s not happening. Not for me. I think I knew that even the first time we got together Betty. I think I knew once we went there, that there was no turning back, and I still put my foot on the gas and drove in full force.”

That’s all surprisingly wise and poetic for Archie, she thinks. It’s evident just how much he’s grown up in the last seven years. How much of his life she’s missed and doesn’t know about. How much she wants to learn about him. “Okay,” She sighs, resignedly but still evidently happy.

“Okay, what?” He asks, a preemptive smile playing on his lips.

“Okay, so let’s do this,  _ for real. _ ” Her happiness mirrors his own and she leans forward, capturing his lips wantonly. “Okay, there’s no turning back” She whispers, nuzzling her nose against his. Then with slightly more finality and conviction she adds, “Okay, I'm in love with you.”

“Okay,” He swallows, his fingers tangling into her hair as he lays her against the pillows. “Okay, I'm in love you, too." 

  
  
  



End file.
